Sooooooooo here's my question. When is it appropriate to have sex with a man? 1st date? 2nd date? 100th date???
I have been dating for some time...more like testing the waters. And I have found that if you have sex too soon, men get skiddish and are never hear from again - not that I'm actually complaining!!! I dunno...last time I checked I'm female with a whole bunch of estrogen pumping through my system.
So perhaps someone can shed some light on when is it too soon to give it up? And why is it men say "don't like games" yet if you give it up too soon that's exactly what happens???
God men are like science projects!!!!
WaterVixen
Sooooooooo here's my question. When is it appropriate to have sex with a man? 1st date? 2nd date? 100th date???
I have been dating for some time...more like testing the waters. And I have found that if you have sex too soon, men get skiddish and are never hear from again - not that I'm actually complaining!!! I dunno...last time I checked I'm female with a whole bunch of estrogen pumping through my system.
So perhaps someone can shed some light on when is it too soon to give it up? And why is it men say "don't like games" yet if you give it up too soon that's exactly what happens???
Well I have to say a lot of my education (wisdom) has been through the "School of Hard Knocks". Compleated the ASS. Degree now working on the PHD (Piled Higher and Deeper) lol.Also known as Been there Done that, Got the Scars, moved on and hopefully won't happen again education.
Well I have to say a lot of my education (wisdom) has been through the "School of Hard Knocks". Compleated the ASS. Degree now working on the PHD (Piled Higher and Deeper) lol.Also known as Been there Done that, Got the Scars, moved on and hopefully won't happen again education.
WaterVixen, Men feel the same way about you ladies. Just when "we"(males) think we have you ladies figured out the rules change on us.But it keeps on our toes.LOL.
WaterVixen, Men feel the same way about you ladies. Just when "we"(males) think we have you ladies figured out the rules change on us.But it keeps on our toes.LOL.
90 days is a fairly short time for some. Before you get to know the other person "biblicaly". But I feel it is just a good start to get to know person likes and dislikes and values that person you hope to spend the rest of you life with.
90 days is a fairly short time for some. Before you get to know the other person "biblicaly". But I feel it is just a good start to get to know person likes and dislikes and values that person you hope to spend the rest of you life with.
Just wanted to add something as it fits the blog topic. I read extracts of book called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, I forgot the authors name.
Here he says that women should not give it up until 90 days!!!
Says something like that men will not consider you relationship material unless you make him wait that long.
I think that is a bit long, but he does make some good points, if he is serious enough he will wait, if not then you have lost nothing expect time in getting to know him.
What do you guys thing ... is that too long?
Just wanted to add something as it fits the blog topic. I read extracts of book called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, I forgot the authors name.
Here he says that women should not give it up until 90 days!!!
Says something like that men will not consider you relationship material unless you make him wait that long.
I think that is a bit long, but he does make some good points, if he is serious enough he will wait, if not then you have lost nothing expect time in getting to know him.
As A guy I have to say if you are open and honest with the gentleman you are dating. It should not be a problen to not /or to have sex .I have to also agree that the best indicator is you "gut feeling", or the "inner voice" you hear in you mind. as to when to get hot and sweaty.I feel (from personal experiance) that it is best to wait before engaugeing in sex too early. In my case I thought with my "second primative brain" and totally ignored the problems with the relationship .However by the time the horse blinders ,and rose colored glasses were removed. It was too late. I Had 2 kids, was severely in deep debt, was working three jobs.Because of it(stress) had a mini melt down from the emotional,and physcal stresses. So If I ever find a new life partner(or she finds me)I hate to say I probially will be "Old Fashioned" and not engauge in getting her in a biblical sense till after we are engauged and the marriage date has been set.I want to first be in "love" with her mind as well her body. I also want to be shure she and I are complimentary to each other .
As A guy I have to say if you are open and honest with the gentleman you are dating. It should not be a problen to not /or to have sex .I have to also agree that the best indicator is you "gut feeling", or the "inner voice" you hear in you mind. as to when to get hot and sweaty.I feel (from personal experiance) that it is best to wait before engaugeing in sex too early. In my case I thought with my "second primative brain" and totally ignored the problems with the relationship .However by the time the horse blinders ,and rose colored glasses were removed. It was too late. I Had 2 kids, was severely in deep debt, was working three jobs.Because of it(stress) had a mini melt down from the emotional,and physcal stresses. So If I ever find a new life partner(or she finds me)I hate to say I probially will be "Old Fashioned" and not engauge in getting her in a biblical sense till after we are engauged and the marriage date has been set.I want to first be in "love" with her mind as well her body. I also want to be shure she and I are complimentary to each other .
Oh this is with no right answer, just what you feel is right.
Men are so different on this topic and have rules about it, but each one is different in what that rule is for them.
I have met men that think if you give it up before the 3rd date you are too easy and of course would have done that on ALL of your dates. This can seem really bad if you have met and dated a lot of men from online dating. They dont want to understand that you would not do that with all of them.
I think that it really should be when you are ready for it, depite what date you are now on. Sometimes in this internet dating world you have spoken to and gotten to know someone for months before you meet, so is this still like having a first date when you acutally meet?
I think that if I am seeing a man and he has turned me on enough for me to sleep with him, whether that is the 1st date or 5th, then he should take it for the compliment that it is, and not judge a woman by this.
You have to do what you feel is right for you and live with the reults of that decision, because you never can tell what sort of man you have in front of you.
Oh this is with no right answer, just what you feel is right.
Men are so different on this topic and have rules about it, but each one is different in what that rule is for them.
I have met men that think if you give it up before the 3rd date you are too easy and of course would have done that on ALL of your dates. This can seem really bad if you have met and dated a lot of men from online dating. They dont want to understand that you would not do that with all of them.
I think that it really should be when you are ready for it, depite what date you are now on. Sometimes in this internet dating world you have spoken to and gotten to know someone for months before you meet, so is this still like having a first date when you acutally meet?
I think that if I am seeing a man and he has turned me on enough for me to sleep with him, whether that is the 1st date or 5th, then he should take it for the compliment that it is, and not judge a woman by this.
You have to do what you feel is right for you and live with the reults of that decision, because you never can tell what sort of man you have in front of you.
I used to worry about that, but then I just have too many guy friends that tell me about their exploits, and realized that they don't really have a quota or perfect moment. Only one guy out of ten I know judges how long term it could be based on how fast you give it up.
My rule of thumb?? When it is right for me. I have a very high drive and am tired of appologizing for what I want just because I am a woman. Might get called a few names, but hey, I'm the one content and smiling, so I am not all that worried.
Don't take everything so serious! Have fun and just let it happen.
***Rizzo was my hero!!!****
I used to worry about that, but then I just have too many guy friends that tell me about their exploits, and realized that they don't really have a quota or perfect moment. Only one guy out of ten I know judges how long term it could be based on how fast you give it up.
My rule of thumb?? When it is right for me. I have a very high drive and am tired of appologizing for what I want just because I am a woman. Might get called a few names, but hey, I'm the one content and smiling, so I am not all that worried.
Don't take everything so serious! Have fun and just let it happen.
One the one had there is the sexual revolution and we should be able to do what we want and what feels right to us.
On the other hand there is the double standard that many men don't respect a woman who "gives it up" too easily. They like the chase. In fact Ozredhead has a post here somewhere about a male friend of hers who really really liked a woman he was connecting with, but would never have a serious relationship or consider marrying her because she slept with him too soon. Yeah, he was an a$$. But men like him do exist and you don't know going into it which type of man you're dating. But I guess if a man was going to be that judgmental and close minded, the question then becomes would you really want to be with him anyway?
All I can say is go with what feels right to you. But if you think this person is someone you might want a future with there is no harming in getting to know someone a bit better before jumping into the sack together. I still think the best relationships start as friendships. Just MHO.
Women are got between a rock and a hard place.
One the one had there is the sexual revolution and we should be able to do what we want and what feels right to us.
On the other hand there is the double standard that many men don't respect a woman who "gives it up" too easily. They like the chase. In fact Ozredhead has a post here somewhere about a male friend of hers who really really liked a woman he was connecting with, but would never have a serious relationship or consider marrying her because she slept with him too soon. Yeah, he was an a$$. But men like him do exist and you don't know going into it which type of man you're dating. But I guess if a man was going to be that judgmental and close minded, the question then becomes would you really want to be with him anyway?
All I can say is go with what feels right to you. But if you think this person is someone you might want a future with there is no harming in getting to know someone a bit better before jumping into the sack together. I still think the best relationships start as friendships. Just MHO.
