My girlfriend that met her guy now 6 weeks ago is ENGAGED and ever so happy.
Though its going to be a long engagement she says that she just knows he is the one that she has been waiting for and is willing to change her life around to have this man in her life.
The male friend that says he is not ready, well I will have to keep an eye on him and see what happens.
Thanks for all your comments. xx
Just to update you all. :)
My girlfriend that met her guy now 6 weeks ago is ENGAGED and ever so happy.
Though its going to be a long engagement she says that she just knows he is the one that she has been waiting for and is willing to change her life around to have this man in her life.
The male friend that says he is not ready, well I will have to keep an eye on him and see what happens.
I agree that when someone says "I'm not ready" that it sometimes means "I'm not ready for YOU". However, I think, too, that in SOME people's cases, it could REALLY mean just that: you've not ready.
Case in point: My profile actually states that I'm not actively seeking companionship. I am just getting to finalizing a divorce that has taken two years to negotiate. I am preparing to go back to nursing school. And I am actually enjoying my time alone. YET: I know this man, whom I like and have liked for a while. This is a REAL like, just not up to the level of love. I think if I were to focus on getting to know this man, I could develop more feelings. But, I have so much going on in life, and I want too much to go back to school that I won't do it. So, when I tell him that "I'm not ready", I really mean it. And I have, I'm not leading this person on or anything. I have been brutally honest, it's only fair. But, my "I'm not ready" is pretty simple to define. --True
I agree that when someone says "I'm not ready" that it sometimes means "I'm not ready for YOU". However, I think, too, that in SOME people's cases, it could REALLY mean just that: you've not ready.
Case in point: My profile actually states that I'm not actively seeking companionship. I am just getting to finalizing a divorce that has taken two years to negotiate. I am preparing to go back to nursing school. And I am actually enjoying my time alone. YET: I know this man, whom I like and have liked for a while. This is a REAL like, just not up to the level of love. I think if I were to focus on getting to know this man, I could develop more feelings. But, I have so much going on in life, and I want too much to go back to school that I won't do it. So, when I tell him that "I'm not ready", I really mean it. And I have, I'm not leading this person on or anything. I have been brutally honest, it's only fair. But, my "I'm not ready" is pretty simple to define. --True
I'd have to say that the person not ready, is really not ready and might feel that there is one or two important value or moral issues they are not finding in the other person. However, they might have been on the dating road for awhile, this one almost fits so they are not going to let go, but not fully committed either.
Then, as you said BAM, they find that ONE that has all things on the top ten list.
I've seen it before.
( just an aside, that friend of mine that got engaged, got unengaged three days later. )
Aimee Fla
Well have to agree, so I wont be waiting for that one that says he is not ready for a relationship, because this means that I'm not the one for him.
Wow, sorry to hear about your friend, got to say that was real quick, makes me wonder how things can change in such a short period of time?
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Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla OZ,
I'd have to say that the person not ready, is really not ready and might feel that there is one or two important value or moral issues they are not finding in the other person. However, they might have been on the dating road for awhile, this one almost fits so they are not going to let go, but not fully committed either.
Then, as you said BAM, they find that ONE that has all things on the top ten list.
I've seen it before.
( just an aside, that friend of mine that got engaged, got unengaged three days later. )
Aimee Fla
Well have to agree, so I wont be waiting for that one that says he is not ready for a relationship, because this means that I'm not the one for him.
Wow, sorry to hear about your friend, got to say that was real quick, makes me wonder how things can change in such a short period of time?
I'd have to say that the person not ready, is really not ready and might feel that there is one or two important value or moral issues they are not finding in the other person. However, they might have been on the dating road for awhile, this one almost fits so they are not going to let go, but not fully committed either.
Then, as you said BAM, they find that ONE that has all things on the top ten list.
I've seen it before.
( just an aside, that friend of mine that got engaged, got unengaged three days later. )
Aimee Fla
OZ,
I'd have to say that the person not ready, is really not ready and might feel that there is one or two important value or moral issues they are not finding in the other person. However, they might have been on the dating road for awhile, this one almost fits so they are not going to let go, but not fully committed either.
Then, as you said BAM, they find that ONE that has all things on the top ten list.
I've seen it before.
( just an aside, that friend of mine that got engaged, got unengaged three days later. )
Quoting: Originally posted by simplicity7777 i think this has something to do with being defensive of still being single. It is about putting walls up so you dont get depressed as well as a way to justify to your friends why you are living in a single state when they may have relationships. When someone comes along that seems special, something iside goes CLICK and your emotions run and the excitement of (what if) kicks in. I may be wrong but from my times of being single i can relate.
Well yes I guess that may be why people say this at times.
Though sometimes people that say this dont even date or actively look for a partner, some avoid it like the plague. lol
So I guess you are saying that it is not about being ready or life situations, its about meeting that right person?
For me its the only way to explain why someone that does not have time, for example, meets that special person, and all of a sudden they have the time that was so mysteriously not there before.
So would you agree that if someone that you like is saying that they are not ready, it really means that you are just not that special person for them? :)
- Show quoted text -
Quoting: Originally posted by simplicity7777 i think this has something to do with being defensive of still being single. It is about putting walls up so you dont get depressed as well as a way to justify to your friends why you are living in a single state when they may have relationships. When someone comes along that seems special, something iside goes CLICK and your emotions run and the excitement of (what if) kicks in. I may be wrong but from my times of being single i can relate.
Well yes I guess that may be why people say this at times.
Though sometimes people that say this dont even date or actively look for a partner, some avoid it like the plague. lol
So I guess you are saying that it is not about being ready or life situations, its about meeting that right person?
For me its the only way to explain why someone that does not have time, for example, meets that special person, and all of a sudden they have the time that was so mysteriously not there before.
So would you agree that if someone that you like is saying that they are not ready, it really means that you are just not that special person for them? :)
i think this has something to do with being defensive of still being single. It is about putting walls up so you dont get depressed as well as a way to justify to your friends why you are living in a single state when they may have relationships. When someone comes along that seems special, something iside goes CLICK and your emotions run and the excitement of (what if) kicks in. I may be wrong but from my times of being single i can relate.
i think this has something to do with being defensive of still being single. It is about putting walls up so you dont get depressed as well as a way to justify to your friends why you are living in a single state when they may have relationships. When someone comes along that seems special, something iside goes CLICK and your emotions run and the excitement of (what if) kicks in. I may be wrong but from my times of being single i can relate.
Yes Amimee and True it is so surprising when I have seen this happen.
So does this mean that if you have met someone you really like, and get on great with, but they say that right now they are not ready for a relationship, that YOU are not that "right" one?
How long does one wait for someone to be ready?
I have seen cases where one person is waiting for the other to be ready, all of a sudden find the other one has met someone ....and wham the one that was not ready all of a sudden is.
Thanks for the comments all. :)
Yes Amimee and True it is so surprising when I have seen this happen.
So does this mean that if you have met someone you really like, and get on great with, but they say that right now they are not ready for a relationship, that YOU are not that "right" one?
How long does one wait for someone to be ready?
I have seen cases where one person is waiting for the other to be ready, all of a sudden find the other one has met someone ....and wham the one that was not ready all of a sudden is.
Like always, you get those ones that make us all ponder and wonder about things and how we see and experience them in our own lives.
I honestly think we know when we have met someone that is very special in every fasset of life to us, nothing just physical, but more so mental and spiritual. The Soul plays a huge part in this. To become Friends with that person, one knows and ponders around the fact of emotions and where they may lead, but ultimately, it is those emotions that show us who not only we are but who the other person really is. Relationships are difficult things, but sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by the emotions (right or wrong) that we do not think and we want to feel and experience everything we can. I am a firm believer in allowing those experiences to happen. Yes, can we get hurt, sure, but who knows if that is not the one that is meant to be, the one that is our soul mate.
Who says it will be the last hurt and pain we will feel? I have to admit that I have learned from Children (My profession) that it is better to love today and be willing to love than to lay there tomorrow and wish we had memories of those times.
This is a very hard subject, but ultimately one that is the center of everyone on this web site. Will we meet the right person and will we be able to find true love and happiness. If we don't have a leap of faith in our own gut feelings, then why are we even looking?
TT
Yes I do think when you have those feelings that are uncontrollable and overwhelming, that what we once thought was impossible or too difficult then starts to becomes possible.
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Quoting: Originally posted by tonfree
Very Interesting topic Mizz OZ!!
Like always, you get those ones that make us all ponder and wonder about things and how we see and experience them in our own lives.
I honestly think we know when we have met someone that is very special in every fasset of life to us, nothing just physical, but more so mental and spiritual. The Soul plays a huge part in this. To become Friends with that person, one knows and ponders around the fact of emotions and where they may lead, but ultimately, it is those emotions that show us who not only we are but who the other person really is. Relationships are difficult things, but sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by the emotions (right or wrong) that we do not think and we want to feel and experience everything we can. I am a firm believer in allowing those experiences to happen. Yes, can we get hurt, sure, but who knows if that is not the one that is meant to be, the one that is our soul mate.
Who says it will be the last hurt and pain we will feel? I have to admit that I have learned from Children (My profession) that it is better to love today and be willing to love than to lay there tomorrow and wish we had memories of those times.
This is a very hard subject, but ultimately one that is the center of everyone on this web site. Will we meet the right person and will we be able to find true love and happiness. If we don't have a leap of faith in our own gut feelings, then why are we even looking?
TT
Yes I do think when you have those feelings that are uncontrollable and overwhelming, that what we once thought was impossible or too difficult then starts to becomes possible.
Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62 I was talking to two friends recently about relationships. Now both of these said to me that they were just NOT READY to get involved with anyone.
Now of of these friends met a man 3 weeks ago and WHAM she now has totally changed.
They have even decided that they want to move in together as soon as they find something suitable.
Before this you could not even get her around the idea that she wanted to date anyone!!!
The other friend also says this, and he has good reasons, but I do wonder if he met the RIGHT person would this change for him too?
What do you all think? Are we maybe only not ready until we find that special person that takes our heart?
If the person you are interested in is saying they are not ready, can you presume that YOU are not that person and move on?
Very Interesting topic Mizz OZ!!
Like always, you get those ones that make us all ponder and wonder about things and how we see and experience them in our own lives.
I honestly think we know when we have met someone that is very special in every fasset of life to us, nothing just physical, but more so mental and spiritual. The Soul plays a huge part in this. To become Friends with that person, one knows and ponders around the fact of emotions and where they may lead, but ultimately, it is those emotions that show us who not only we are but who the other person really is. Relationships are difficult things, but sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by the emotions (right or wrong) that we do not think and we want to feel and experience everything we can. I am a firm believer in allowing those experiences to happen. Yes, can we get hurt, sure, but who knows if that is not the one that is meant to be, the one that is our soul mate.
Who says it will be the last hurt and pain we will feel? I have to admit that I have learned from Children (My profession) that it is better to love today and be willing to love than to lay there tomorrow and wish we had memories of those times.
This is a very hard subject, but ultimately one that is the center of everyone on this web site. Will we meet the right person and will we be able to find true love and happiness. If we don't have a leap of faith in our own gut feelings, then why are we even looking?
TT
- Show quoted text -
Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62 I was talking to two friends recently about relationships. Now both of these said to me that they were just NOT READY to get involved with anyone.
Now of of these friends met a man 3 weeks ago and WHAM she now has totally changed.
They have even decided that they want to move in together as soon as they find something suitable.
Before this you could not even get her around the idea that she wanted to date anyone!!!
The other friend also says this, and he has good reasons, but I do wonder if he met the RIGHT person would this change for him too?
What do you all think? Are we maybe only not ready until we find that special person that takes our heart?
If the person you are interested in is saying they are not ready, can you presume that YOU are not that person and move on?
Very Interesting topic Mizz OZ!!
Like always, you get those ones that make us all ponder and wonder about things and how we see and experience them in our own lives.
I honestly think we know when we have met someone that is very special in every fasset of life to us, nothing just physical, but more so mental and spiritual. The Soul plays a huge part in this. To become Friends with that person, one knows and ponders around the fact of emotions and where they may lead, but ultimately, it is those emotions that show us who not only we are but who the other person really is. Relationships are difficult things, but sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by the emotions (right or wrong) that we do not think and we want to feel and experience everything we can. I am a firm believer in allowing those experiences to happen. Yes, can we get hurt, sure, but who knows if that is not the one that is meant to be, the one that is our soul mate.
Who says it will be the last hurt and pain we will feel? I have to admit that I have learned from Children (My profession) that it is better to love today and be willing to love than to lay there tomorrow and wish we had memories of those times.
This is a very hard subject, but ultimately one that is the center of everyone on this web site. Will we meet the right person and will we be able to find true love and happiness. If we don't have a leap of faith in our own gut feelings, then why are we even looking?
Quoting: Originally posted by 4funorlove I think your friend who is moving in so soon after meeting someone BELIEVES at this stage that they have found the RIGHT one.
That is what I was trying to get to in my thread - being "ready" or not is not a YES/NO decision - i think it is about being ready to for some things but not others.
LOL 4funorlove
I replied to your blog as well, but as I said there I dont think its about what your ready for , but if the person you meet can fit into the picture you have in mind.
This friend has been single for years and has dated occasionally. She told me that this man is making her forget her one true love that has followed her all her adult life.
Her previous total disregard towards men has now being replaced by excitement that I did not think I would see.
Prior to this her view on men and relationships was that it was too hard, she did not want to give up her time, handle her kids .... gee she had lots of reasons as to why she should not and did not want to be in any form of relationship.
Why after meeting him did all her considerations on how difficult relationships can be change?
If she was not ready 4 weeks or even 1 week before meeting this man, how can this change to being ready so quickly?
I dont know really but I'm starting to think it IS a yes or no decision if the right person comes along. Will have to think about this one some more. :)
- Show quoted text -
Quoting: Originally posted by 4funorlove I think your friend who is moving in so soon after meeting someone BELIEVES at this stage that they have found the RIGHT one.
That is what I was trying to get to in my thread - being "ready" or not is not a YES/NO decision - i think it is about being ready to for some things but not others.
LOL 4funorlove
I replied to your blog as well, but as I said there I dont think its about what your ready for , but if the person you meet can fit into the picture you have in mind.
This friend has been single for years and has dated occasionally. She told me that this man is making her forget her one true love that has followed her all her adult life.
Her previous total disregard towards men has now being replaced by excitement that I did not think I would see.
Prior to this her view on men and relationships was that it was too hard, she did not want to give up her time, handle her kids .... gee she had lots of reasons as to why she should not and did not want to be in any form of relationship.
Why after meeting him did all her considerations on how difficult relationships can be change?
If she was not ready 4 weeks or even 1 week before meeting this man, how can this change to being ready so quickly?
I dont know really but I'm starting to think it IS a yes or no decision if the right person comes along. Will have to think about this one some more. :)
Ditto here, girls. Have a friend who has probably dated every man available within a 500 mile radius of her residence. I thought she would never get married, she's almost 50! I found out two weeks ago that she has met and is engaged to a wonderful man. All within two months. I am all too happy for her, but can't help but wonder about the sudden change of heart. Is it the age or the loneliness? I hope neither. I hope it's for l-o-v-e that she gets married, not the absence of such in her life. I wish her well, but wonder if I will ever want to do the same (again).--True
Ditto here, girls. Have a friend who has probably dated every man available within a 500 mile radius of her residence. I thought she would never get married, she's almost 50! I found out two weeks ago that she has met and is engaged to a wonderful man. All within two months. I am all too happy for her, but can't help but wonder about the sudden change of heart. Is it the age or the loneliness? I hope neither. I hope it's for l-o-v-e that she gets married, not the absence of such in her life. I wish her well, but wonder if I will ever want to do the same (again).--True
I just got a call from a friend. She's in UP UP state NY, but used to live here in Florida.
She used to say the same thing, then she went out on a few dates from several singles sites. She said ehe's never get married. BUT, she called today, she's ENGAGED.
So I think you're right, we're not ready for "just any relationship" but we will be ready the "THE" relationship of our lifetime.
There must be something to it, I hear it all the time.
You are on to something here OZ
Aimee Fla
Hi OZ, very thought provoking.
I just got a call from a friend. She's in UP UP state NY, but used to live here in Florida.
She used to say the same thing, then she went out on a few dates from several singles sites. She said ehe's never get married. BUT, she called today, she's ENGAGED.
So I think you're right, we're not ready for "just any relationship" but we will be ready the "THE" relationship of our lifetime.
There must be something to it, I hear it all the time.
I think your friend who is moving in so soon after meeting someone BELIEVES at this stage that they have found the RIGHT one.
That is what I was trying to get to in my thread - being "ready" or not is not a YES/NO decision - i think it is about being ready to for some things but not others.
I think your friend who is moving in so soon after meeting someone BELIEVES at this stage that they have found the RIGHT one.
That is what I was trying to get to in my thread - being "ready" or not is not a YES/NO decision - i think it is about being ready to for some things but not others.
